Spanglish Writer

The Ties that Bind

2009-09-24T13:25:00.003-04:00

Por fin Sofia Vergara has found writers and a show that let her shine. In ABC's Modern Family, she plays Gloria, una madre soltera that cleverly climbs the ranks from rebound fling to Grand-Estep-Mother after sealing the deal by tying the knot to Jay, un Señor considerably older than her with a history that she lovingly embraces. Vergara is a joy to watch as she effortlessly gesticulates those muecas that only una mami will use in lieu of words. I love how she gasps "It's very beautiful in Spanish" when her gringo esposo is at a loss after hearing her literal translation of a lovely well-known dicho. Finally stepping out of the land of the type-cast, Vergara llegó á tiempo. Keep it up chica.

2009-08-09T11:06:00.008-04:00

On Thursday, I had planned to go to a Salsa Social with an amiga. I can't hang like I used to so I rely on the occasional Disco Nap to recharge my bateria. I had a phone call wake me up along with banging on my front door. I yank open the door and stand there in utter shock, like a sweepstakes winner.

Grinning at me with her pink luggage is Sylvia. We pick up right where we left off before life got so major. We got to the mall, the movies and just hang out. I'm in bliss.

The next day I had to run a quick errand and when I get back and open my front door, my other best friend Jennifer is standing in front of me. Now I'm trembling like a beauty pageant winner. I've got the ugly cry y todo.

We shared our clothes, secrets, chisme, dreams and passed notes. We drove by parties before going in. We had each other to turn to for relief when things would get tricky in one of our lives. We held our breath and sent up a quick silent prayer when each of us got married hoping that the guy was gonna do right by our girl. We mourned the loss of loved ones.

As we set off into our respective paths we'd occasionally glance back wistfully and miss each other. We'd always talk about a 'girls trip' but life just always seemed to get in the way.

My querido esposo couldn't celebrate my birthday with me so he gave me the next best gift, mis amigas. Gracias mi amor. Te amo.

1,2,3,5,6,7

2009-08-05T11:22:00.012-04:00

The old adage (and now a Jonas Brothers song) don't know what you got till it's gone is so fitting for this chica. I grew up in a family where the sounds of nuestra musica and the scents of mami's comida paced my day. En la mañana, the gurgling cafetera would release an enticing aroma that wafted into my room and let me know that I had to wake up. Soon after, someone turned on some music.

When it was time to clean, my mother would dance with the broom while pausing from the otherwise boring chore of sweeping. "Wanna practice those fast turns?" she'd ask me. "Mija, open the door and pretend that's your partner. Spin your body on beat and catch the doorknob; that's his hand silly! " We'd whisk through the house work with un chin de salsa aqui and un merengueito alla.

In Houston, on the weekends, bailando hasta las quince de la mañana was not just a lyric for me and my friends. It was our creedo. Sylvia, Jennifer, Rachel, Nani, Jess and I would make our way past the line outside Crystal, head for the bar pa' un trago and check out what the DJ was playing in both rooms. This place had American music in the back room and Latino music in the front room. The hallway resembled a New York City subway station.

In Miami, Spam Allstars provided an escape from my grief after Mami passed away. Cristina, Yvette and I would indulge in my version of therapy. We coined it Beach Therapy. My reply to every

problem would be simple "Chica, fuck that shit! Ven pa' la play, Spam is playing!"

After meeting my husband and relocating to casa pal carajo North Carolina, I missed all the dancing I used to take for granted. I sort of resigned myself to the idea that if I wanted to dance I'd have to hop on a plane. I had tried going to a few places and noticed that folks here just don't dance. They stand around and drink and talk and drink and talk some more. You get the idea.

A few weeks ago I stumbled onto a great dancing scene. Turns out that folks here do come out and dance. They find a safe spot for their street shoes, put on their dancing shoes and get to steppin'. Yeah, they're that serious, that they've got 'dancing shoes'. The whole room fills up with dancers on every level. From the anxious newbies fresh out of their first class that are counting along to the song to keep their beat and master that 'basic' step to the rusty old-timer that picks up where they left off before life got so busy that dancing lost it's priority. Although Mami is no longer here and my closest of friends are thousands of miles from me, last night they were all with en mi corazón as I danced.

More Bang for Your Buck

2009-08-03T20:32:00.007-04:00

Staycation. Expect more. Pay less. Save money. Live better. We're all trying to figure out how to cut back here and there. My folks grew up in another country and passed along their good sense about eating well without spending a lot to me. This week I went to three stores, spent $61 and managed to pick up enough food for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner.

Brand loyalty? Fuck a brand, give me the cheapest price per unit. You determine how low you'll go and what's the most you're willing to spend. Coupons? If you've got the time on your hands for the serious commitment it takes, go for it. I've been know to walk up to the sales clerk at CVS and slam my coupons on the counter while exclaiming 'hit me!' as I rack up on my air scents and walk away feeling like a trouper because I paid $5 for $25 worth of stuff. But I digress....

First thing I do is make a list of tried and true essentials for breakfast, lunch and snacks. I then look at a few circulars. Whomever has the most of what I want at the cheapest price, gets my business. Next to the food item I'll indicate which store I'll go to make my purchase. At this point I know I've won a battle. Half the work is done. I go drink some café con leche, read everyone's updates on mother of all networking sites....you get the point. I've rested and I'm ready for the war. Dinner. What's for dinner? Keep it simple. Think of meals that will work for dinner and stretch into lunch the next day.
Harris Teeter:two dozen eggs 1.76
buy two get three free bacon 7.58 (freeze what you're not going to use this week)
buy one pound get another free cheddar cheese 5.52
buy one pound get another free smoked turkey 7.10
one pint of strawberries 1.25 (they had a 4 for $5 special)
goldfish 9 pack 5.29
TOTAL SPENT $29.07 (including sales tax)

From what I've purchased above, both kids can eat crackers, cheese, turkey, and fruit provided by yours truly for lunch without me paying the Kraft price for a lunchable.

Food Lion:
two blocks of Food Lion brand cheddar cheese (8 oz. each) $ 3.51
two pints of heavy whipping cream $5.38
one package of soft flour tortillas $1.40
one box of cheez-it crackers $2.50
one pound of ground beef $3.44
ten pounds of chicken leg quarters $7.90
TOTAL SPENT $24.68 (including sales tax)

Aldi:
one bag of granny smith apples $2.69
a small tub of parmesan cheese $1.99
unsalted butter $1.89TOTAL SPENT $6.70

From what I've purchased above at the last two stores along with what I have at home (never let your pantry or fridge go bare), I now have enough to feed everyone.

Mac-n-cheese with turnip greens and pica pollo (Dominican fried chicken)
Guilty pleasure, I know, get over it, we're in the South...

Spaghetti alla Carbonara

I've also made quesadillas, but these folks gobbled them up before I could snap a quick pic.

It's only Monday night. Three more dinners to go. Friday is known as FOF around these parts, as in Fuck Off Friday. Something odd happens to my kitchen appliances and they go on strike, lol.

Hijas Americanas

2007-06-29T09:11:00.000-04:00

How Latina are you?

I've never been asked this question. Well, not directly. It sits there in the corner, the pink elephant everyone pretends not to see. Whether from a bigot who rationalizes their outright racist stereotypes by annointing me as 'exceptional' because I'm not like those OTHER Messicans, I mean Hispanics, I mean Latinos. Well what is the difference anyhow, they ask huffing at me.

I can also catch it on the flip side from a recent arrival of my beloved Dominican Republic that declares that they could tell that I was from HERE and not HOME like them.

Finally the day came where I was asked, in detail by a friend, who is Latina like me. A friend who is also fluent in Spanglish. She asked other Latinas too and in the end this is what she made of it:

Thank you Rosie for asking and asking and asking. I'm very happy and proud of you. I can now cross you off my list of 'Latinas to Meet' (yes, I have a list, but more on that another time).

Dexter

2006-10-01T19:52:00.000-04:00

Nina Moreno is back. Bueno, not 'Nina' per se, pero la boriqua we all used to love to watch on a weekly cop show, New York Undercover.

Lauren Velez is Lt. La Maria La Guerta and she's runnin' shit at Miami-Dade police.

The show, Dexter, stars Michael C. Hall, the gay brother from Six Feet Under. Dexter is a blood-spatter expert that helps solve crime by day. At night he dispenses vigilante justice to the pendejos that fall through the cracks. I'm not buying the creepy gringo and his weird brand of justicia. I am however loving Velez and the thought she puts into making her character believable. La Guerta thinks que creepy Dexter esta mas bueno, la pobre. Tambien I love that they're actually showing you the real Miami. You don't get the obligatory Art Deco-cosmetically enhanced 'beautiful' people-sexy music montage. You do get some Art Deco, a crack hoe on Biscayne Boulevard and a great view of the skyline from what looks like the 72nd Street causeway. I'll be watching Lt. La Guerta to see if she pounces the gringo or plays it safe.

Voces TV

2006-09-11T09:36:00.000-04:00

PBS will be airing a thirteen part series called Voces during Hispanic Heritage Month. Music, sports, and the Latino image in Hollywood will be explored through documentaries. Please check their website for your local listings at www.voces.tv and tune in.

Dear Anonymous

2006-02-27T20:28:00.000-05:00

I never said blogging was exclusively for writers. I wanted to clarify that this blog was a place for me to post short stories. I'm all for self-expression. Cut this chica a break or vete pal carajo.

An Open Letter to All 'Bloggers'

2006-02-25T04:43:00.000-05:00

The 80’s are back with a vengeance. The self-absorbed pontificate the finer points of their lives and they all have blogs!

I don’t mean pontificate in:

What’s-the-name-of-the-gringo-that-wanted-to-get-back-to-simpler-things-and-went and-lived-on-a-lake-to-think-about-life-kind-of-way?

Emerson?

No.

Thoreau?

Doesn’t matter, most internet folk wouldn’t get the reference….

It seems everyone is hell-bent on ‘venting’ these days. You’re probably reading this and thinking ‘Carajo, que pesada’(note, if you don’t know what that means, ask your local latino/a). There’s nothing wrong with ‘venting’. We all need a little comfort and compassion from time to time.

I’m just tired of reading about the minutia of the daily life of your average blogger. Please don’t take offense. Most of it is just random-ass rambling that never gets to a point and then the blogger gets lost in their own thoughts and attempts to save the post with a ‘quirky thought’ that never leads you anywhere. It’s like bad foreplay and no sex. Except that you know that the foreplay sucked, your partner thinks it was ‘hot’ and then you end up irritated that you even began messin’ around with this bad kisser.

I won’t write a term paper about this cancer that has infiltrated the net, but I will tell you that I’m a writer. The ‘blogs’ on this page are short stories. That means they are works of fiction. If you like what you read, great, please leave me a comment. If you don’t, please do the same. I can’t get any better unless I improve my body of work.

That’s all I have to say, I like to keep it short and sweet.

Long time no blog

2005-12-02T16:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Readers (that is, if anyone still checks in...)

So sorry I haven't updated in forever, I'm busy with my newborn. When the writer in me re-surfaces, I promise she'll have something oh-so-ay-Dios-mio/no-she-didn't/oh-my-Lord worth reading...

Digale no! à los carbs...

2005-01-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

It is 24 degrees outside. Coño! I just had pan con mantequilla and a café. I’m dreading going to the supermarket. Just the thought of standing outside and loading the bags into the trunk of the car as that motherfucking arctic wind whips me in the face mocking me and saying ‘this is North Carolina bitch’ is enough to make me consider buying my groceries on-line.

Twenty-four degrees? Is this like some crazy joke? I thought it only got that cold in Alaska or Maine or one of those other far away states where white people are at one with nature. What is even worse is that I have very fond memories of happily stuffing my face my first winter in college in Pennsylvania with bagels and coffee from Dunkin Doughnuts and the freshman fifteen soon became the sophomore thirty. So not only am I turning into a hermit by not wanting to leave the warm apartment, I’m obsessed with not gaining any winter weight. I own every fucking exercise dvd Target offers. I’m drinking a lot of water with lemon and I’m carb-counting.

Me, carb-counting is just ridiculous. I LOVE rice and beans and yucca and tostones and bacalaitos and anything fried that is kept warm under those heat lamps at the corner bodega. So as my thoughts turn to the 305 area code and warmer days and palm trees and latin comfort food, I try to ease my Miami longings by blasting Buena Vista Social Club in the car on my way to that Pilates class I signed up for and nibble on some fruit on the way. God forbid for me to visit my amigas later on this year and them put it to me bluntly ‘Ay chica! Te has puesto gorda’…